Changes

A few days before June ended, I lost my job. It was a surprise. It was embarrassing because I've never been laid off before, and it's certainly inconvenient for a number of reasons.

The morning before I found out, I was driving to work past the day laborers waiting for work that day and I thanked God for my job. It was important for me to be mindfully grateful for my job because it didn't pay well, it was pretty meaningless, I felt under-appreciated, etc. But, I had pretty much come to peace with all that and had decided to stick it out for the time being.

Since I came to California, the (only!) 6 months that I had been in this job had been the longest that I'd been employed full-time. It seemed pretty stable, it provided health insurance, and it was nice to have co-workers that I was getting to know better. But, coming from a teaching background, I often wished for that sense of purpose that comes with teaching. Teaching is hard, but there's that general feeling of knowing that what you do can change people for the better.

So, now I'm unemployed again, but hopeful, and excited about the chance to make things again! On about day four of unemployment, I finally got my "studio" corner of our living room cleared of piles. It took me until yesterday to finally start making things again. So, now my etsy stores are updated again and I'll be adding new things more often. Yay!

plotting to make me happy

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
- J. D. Salinger

Today is day three of being an unemployed newlywed. Well, it's more than that if you count the honeymoon, but I don't think I have to count that. We moved in to our first apartment together on Sunday, and it has been kinda fun getting settled. We are only living here for two months or less, while our friends are overseas. We are using their furniture and their kitchen stuff, so the settling in step hasn't been much of a hurdle.

Catching up on laundry, sorting through our stuff, making simple meals. That's all enjoyable for me. Even writing thank you notes for our wedding gifts is an enjoyable task. But looking for a job is the thing that I'm putting off. I really want a job. I just kind of dread looking for one. I don't want to settle for any job, but at the same time I'd like to start working sooner rather than later.

So, I ran across this quote just now and it's making me smile. That I could suspect people of plotting to make me happy is a good thought. That I seemed to have switched from being a general optimist to a too-often pessimist since becoming involved in a serious relationship is fodder for another post (writing that holds me to it). That's not to say that I am not happy now, because I am enjoying this new stage of life, but just that looking for the positive is something I am training myself to do again. And that is a good thing.