The Ceremony

My Mom found someone local to do the flowers. I just sent her some pictures of what I liked. The bouquets, boutonnieres, and corsages were really lovely. Thanks, Mom, for taking care of that and adding some really beautiful flowers to the wedding!

My 2 year old nephew, the ring bearer, anticipating his time in the spotlight. Oh my. He is so cute!



Colin SURPRISED me by singing "I Want You to Be My Love" as I walked up the aisle. I couldn't believe it. (That's the song he also used to propose to me.) He added on a verse that he wrote, saying that he wanted me to be his wife. I married such a romantic!

Colin's dad blew the shofar for us at the beginning and end of the wedding.

Instead of the unity candle, we had a ribbon ceremony to show that everyone who came to the wedding was a part of the community, a part of our marriage. We had one long ribbon that everyone wrapped around their wrist and then passed on, so that everyone was connected. Once everyone was connected, scissors were passed and we asked people to wear the ribbon as a reminder of their participation in the wedding. One of my friends was even still wearing it last week. I love that.


A group shot of everyone who came to the wedding! Yay!

The good looking members of the wedding party.

The groomsmen who all came from out of state to celebrate with us.

(These pictures are from Amber Snow Photography.)

More of the Wedding Day

The pictures in this post are from our photographer, Amber Snow.



Ready for the wedding to begin!


My handsome husband.

We had a table with pictures from our parents and grandparents weddings.

My Mom made our rings! I love this photo Amber took of them.

Our ceremony spot at a point overlooking the lake.

The Wedding Day

A week or so before the wedding, I started waking up with knots in my stomach, which was weird for me because I'm usually a very low stress person. From Wednesday before the wedding on, though, I would wake up with a list of things to do (or at least worry about) but the knot was gone.

I got great sleep the night before the wedding, and woke up feeling pretty normal, except for the knowledge that I was about to make a life changing commitment in a few hours. I made a list of things I was worried about and gave it to my sister. She graciously took it and worked on making them happen. From that point on, I let go of most things.

I do remember seeing Colin (since we were in such close quarters, we decided it would be okay to see each other until we got into our wedding clothes) at some point and telling him something like "It doesn't look good yet! I really want it to look good!" He then told me, "Umm, I think you need to be whisked away somewhere so you won't worry about this. We're making it happen."

I realized there wasn't much left I could do, so I went to my cousin Audra's cabin, where she had stayed up half the night icing the gorgeous and YUMMY wedding cake she made as a gift to us. She also volunteered to do my makeup and hair. I gladly took her up on those offers, since she is much more skilled in those areas than I am. She did a fabulous job and took a lot of stress off me.
It rained from Thursday before the wedding until sometime early Saturday. We heard that in Finland, this is considered good luck - like a cleansing. I was okay with it raining, because I love rain and we had a tent. The problem with the tent though was that it was on a slope, so though it was mostly dry at the lower end, the higher end had all the runoff from the uncovered higher ground. So, it turned into a bit of a muddy mess underneath.

Saturday morning, the sun came out and it looked like it was going to be a beautiful day, so we decided at the last minute to move the ceremony outside of the tent to enjoy the natural light and have the tent already set up for the reception, instead of having to move in tables later. It did turn windy and overcast for the wedding, which made it a bit chilly (I somehow didn't feel cold at all, but other people had blankets on their laps!), but it was beautiful!

I'll post a few pictures from our photographer soon!

The Night Before the Big Day

From Friday around lunchtime, it seemed like everything was in fast forward. Colin had gone into town for last minute things until right before the rehearsal. Almost everyone arrived, it seemed like, right at rehearsal time or after. We got the lights and sound in the tent hooked up as the rehearsal was underway, and somebody set up chairs as we got started. It was a relief to get the rehearsal done and go inside where it was warm.

We had a welcome dinner in the cabin that my family was sharing with Colin's family. One of the best parts of the weekend was getting to see my family and Colin's family, along with our friends, interact. When we first found this place, that's what Colin got excited about. We looked for a place where everybody who wanted to could stay on site so that it would feel a little bit like a double family reunion. That's exactly what ended up happening, and that's one of the reasons why it was a wonderful weekend.


After dinner, my sister and cousins and I found a bedroom to hide in for a little while, but Colin came to find us because his dad had declared there was going to be a "hootenanny." His family used to have a little family band when they lived in Alaska. They brought it back to entertain the crowd.


The crowd was certainly entertained, but nobody had as much fun as the Thorne family band.


Colin ended the night with his friends at their cabin. I ended the night with my girlfriends in the hot tub and sauna behind our cabin. I'm so glad they were there!

Before we get to the wedding pictures...

We drove to Texas the week of Christmas and got snowed in in Abilene for a night before heading to Austin for Christmas day. (Colin and I made the biggest snowman I'd ever built on Christmas Eve.) After Christmas, Colin and I stayed with my grandmother in Austin. He kept working from home while I made lists, got stressed out about how we weren't getting things done, ran errands, got my dress altered, etc. We did make time for a little fun here and there. :)

Anyway, the week of the wedding got there quickly. My sister, brother in law, and nephews came in Tuesday night, which officially meant to me that the countdown was on! Colin's twin brother arrived later that night.

We got our vows written and the programs finalized and copied on Wednesday, which felt excellent. The rest of Colin's family arrived that night and stayed out at the wedding site, Log Country Cove. My sister wound up the ribbon for the unity candle alternative part of our wedding that night, which took way too long. Mimi told her I should "give her a button for it" when she was done. Laura, I don't have a button for you - only a thank you!

On Thursday, Mimi hosted a lunch for some Austin friends and family that had come to town. She had her two long tables set up with full linens and place settings, typical Mimi style. Not sure why I didn't get a picture of that. I did get a few pictures of friends though!


And my cousin Sarah with nephew Curtis:

Thursday night, I joined the Thornes out at Log Country Cove. I got help arranging flowers for centerpieces on Friday. (Thanks to Darby for the green glass and SatuAamu, Brenda, and Chris for helping!)

Kevin (Colin's twin) helping out emptying sparklers (thanks, Kedra!) from the box into a container.

There was lots more done on Friday, too. A lot of family and friends arrived at the cove during the afternoon for the rehearsal, welcome dinner, and to stay the weekend with us. Satu Aamu did get some time to dye eyelashes for a few people before it got too crazy, though!

my internal reset button

When I went to Kentucky around Thanksgiving, I'd been living in the California suburbs for a few months. I felt out of place in California and kind of resented that Colin didn't move to Texas instead. I was doing an inside workout program pretty faithfully and occasionally would take a jog outside to mix things up, but the area around the house where I was living didn't hold too many surprises. It did offer an occasional view of the mountains or some rolling hills, but mostly it was suburban America.

In Kentucky, as I got outside more often to spend time alone, I felt like my internal reset button had been pressed, that I was like a phone that finally got back into range where the clock could reset itself with the satellite to tell it what time it is. The expanse of the hills and long country roads put some spring back into my step. I went outside to find space for myself and took deep breaths of what nature had to offer.

In this journey of knowing another person more deeply than anyone else, I've found that I need to make space to release. Time to go out and run is sometimes more about personal therapy than exercise, but I'm glad it can serve both purposes. In the weeks leading up to the wedding, there were days I would work on wedding stuff until I got tense and then go for a jog. It worked pretty well to take me back to a state of near normality.

Now, for a month or so, we're living in Pasadena, in a real neighborhood! On both jogs that I've been on this week, real people have actually talked to me. (In contrast to the suburbs where it seems like people are rarely outside, and if they are, seem somehow still distant.) I jog by houses with character and independent businesses with their doors open and it makes me happy. I jog by palm trees in the foreground, setting my sights on mountains in the background, so close that it looks like I could jog right to their base. Enough writing then. Time to reset.

plotting to make me happy

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
- J. D. Salinger

Today is day three of being an unemployed newlywed. Well, it's more than that if you count the honeymoon, but I don't think I have to count that. We moved in to our first apartment together on Sunday, and it has been kinda fun getting settled. We are only living here for two months or less, while our friends are overseas. We are using their furniture and their kitchen stuff, so the settling in step hasn't been much of a hurdle.

Catching up on laundry, sorting through our stuff, making simple meals. That's all enjoyable for me. Even writing thank you notes for our wedding gifts is an enjoyable task. But looking for a job is the thing that I'm putting off. I really want a job. I just kind of dread looking for one. I don't want to settle for any job, but at the same time I'd like to start working sooner rather than later.

So, I ran across this quote just now and it's making me smile. That I could suspect people of plotting to make me happy is a good thought. That I seemed to have switched from being a general optimist to a too-often pessimist since becoming involved in a serious relationship is fodder for another post (writing that holds me to it). That's not to say that I am not happy now, because I am enjoying this new stage of life, but just that looking for the positive is something I am training myself to do again. And that is a good thing.

Selah, the Sea, and St. Anthony

(Something I wrote for the church newsletter in California after our womens' retreat.)

There's something about the beach. I don't get there very often, even though I now live much closer to a beach than I ever have before. The infinity of the sky, the ocean, and the sand is overwhelming. The expanse of the ocean ahead, in contrast with the tiny grains of sand at my feet, impossible to count. The push and pull of the waves, and the sound of waves drowning out my own voice. I sit there, sifting through the sand with my hand, watching the birds go after their catch, singing or shouting to God knowing He hears me above the roar. I love to enjoy the beach with others, but for me something unique happens when I'm there alone.

I felt that as I walked down to the beach early on the Sunday morning of Selah, our women's retreat. I heard a tiny groan escape my throat as I saw the shore and smiled , so thankful to feel a connection to the depth of God.

That morning at the beach was part of a weekend of reconnecting, allowing God to claim my soul as a dwelling place for Himself again. He spoke to me about how He is my shelter, my refuge, my source through any tumult I face. As I sat in solitude among the other women there, I remembered what it feels like to really trust Him, to know him as the one who provides for me.

One of the readings we were given on the retreat was an article on solitude by Henri Nouwen. Nouwen tells of St. Anthony, who spent years of solitude in the desert: “He had become so Christlike, so radiant with God's love, that his entire being was ministry.” As I read about St. Anthony, I was reminded that my entire being will be ministry only as I allow myself that time in solitude. In solitude, I leave behind the finite life to sit in the expanse of God, the one who truly knows me.

Do you know him?

I had to quit my little part time job working at a Korean owned after school academy so that I could go to Kentucky for the birth of my second nephew. So, I've been meaning to post this story for a while. I went in yesterday to pick up my last paycheck from there and remembered it:

Tony, a middle schooler who has been in the States for about a year or so, asked me one afternoon, after he found out that I lived in Korea for a while:

Do you know James? He lives in Korea.
(puzzled look on my face)

He's white.

(I start to open my mouth...)

He's a pastor.
Do you know him?

(I ask him if he knows his last name.)

He's married to a Korean.
He lives in Seoul.
Do you know him?

(I tell him that there are probably many white pastors named James who live in Korea and are married to Koreans. I want to tell him that not all white people know each other.)

He has two dogs.
He's kind of huge.
Do you know him?

(Tony is totally serious asking me this question, and he's pretty sure that if he gives me a few more pieces of information on this James guy, I'll end up figuring out who he is. Stories like this are one of the reasons I love teaching.)