Montessori and Encouraging Creativity

"A fundamental truth permeates Montessori’s work: children are desperate to learn. This is the beating heart of Montessori schools. But this fundamental truth is not universally recognized. In fact, our traditional schools are built upon just the opposite assumption: children avoid learning. Therefore, they must be taught. They must be motivated by offers of rewards and threats of punishment. They require great teachers with charisma and pizzazz to inspire them and to create interest in learning. It is essential to recognize this split in philosophy at the most fundamental level in order to appreciate the differences in teaching and in classroom style that emanate from this initial difference. Why? Because the Montessori classroom can appear downright wacky to those of us accustomed to traditional schools. However, keeping in mind that children are naturally desperate to learn—and to learn on their own—we can begin to appreciate this unfamiliar method. Indeed, eventually we can recognize that it has been a part of us all along, since it is based on the way we naturally learn. We are actually all familiar with Montessori teaching, whether we know it or not."

Quoted from this article which is an excerpt from Trevor Eissler's book Montessori Madness.  Such a good reminder that kids are in the business of learning.  Mavry is a reminder of this - every day she seems to acquire a new skill.  We don't teach her, we just try to provide an environment that is conducive to her learning. 

On the same topic, have you seen Sir Ken Robinson's Ted Talk on how we need to encourage creativity in education?  Definitely worth the time. 

What Do You Do All Day?

Another very well meaning person asked me that question the other day.  I smiled and answered the best I could, but every time I get asked some form of that question, I give an inward sigh.  To those who aren't parents, it seems as if with all the sleeping that a baby does, a stay at home mom (especially if the mom only has one kid!) could get a lot more done, or would need to have something else to occupy her time - something other than "just" being a mom.  So, I come up with answers - I do laundry, try to keep the house clean, spend some time on the internet (I always qualify that I could spend less time online, of course), cook dinner, always have some sort of project going, etc.  Honestly, if I get a trip to the store in, laundry done, and dinner made, I feel like I did a lot that day!

One day I even started a list of all the things I had accomplished that morning.  It went something like this: cleaned toilet, pumped milk (I'm donating some milk to an adopted baby), cleaned kitchen floor and countertops, made carrot flour, cleaned juicer, general picking up, started a load of laundry...
But then I left my red ink pen on the bed without the cap (after going in to pick up Mavry from her nap) and it made a red spot on the duvet cover, which then required spot cleaning - another thing to get done - and my admirable list of things accomplished stopped there.  I had planned on getting peanuts soaking for homemade peanut butter, checking on the pickl-its, get a plan for dinner and change the water kefir, but those were put on the mental list for another day. 

(Even as I type this, I'm thinking I need to go check on my pickl-its to see if they're ready for the fridge.  My friend Ruth reminded me of "If You Give a Mom a Muffin" that has been circulating the web recently.  It's funny because everything I start makes me remember something else that needs to get done!)

As this article attests, life with a baby (or any age kid probably!) means that it's difficult to get anything actually finished.  Oh how I miss getting things finished!  Clean laundry sits in the washer waiting to go to the dryer, or in the basket waiting to be hung to dry, peanut butter brownies (try these! only three healthy ingredients and delicious!) burn on the bottom because the timer went off while I was putting the baby to sleep, countless tabs stay open in my browser as a to-look-at-later-when-there's-more-time-list, the open box from yesterday's package sits on the floor waiting to be either tossed or recycled, something I'm sewing sits on my desk (half finished for weeks), multiple books are on my nightstand and coffee table in various stages of completion, my cup of coffee goes cold almost every morning....

This is why sometimes it's hard for me to get out of the house.  Some "stay at home" moms hardly ever stay at home, and I look at them in awe because I wonder how they get anything done!  Of course, I need to get out of the house regularly for a change of scenery and because Mavry and I both enjoy it.  We take long walks to the library on sunny days for our vitamin D and my mental health, we have occasional dates with other moms and kids, and we do the grocery trips and other errand running. 

Part of my "problem", I admit, is that we hardly buy any processed foods anymore.  This requires more food prep, which is something I generally enjoy and definitely think is worth it, but it does take time.  Other reasons are that I am overly ambitious about how much I think I can actually get done and I struggle with placing too large of a portion of my perceived self-worth in how many things I can cross of my list in a day. 

So try not to ask "what do you do all day?" (or any other form of the question) to any stay at home mom or dad.  However well meaning, it doesn't come across that way.  I love that I get to stay at home, but I still struggle sometimes with justifying how much I didn't "get done" other than being a mom all day.

Simplicity

I recently checked out Voluntary Simplicity: Toward a Way of Life that is Outwardly Simple, Inwardly Rich from the library.  As I'm reading it, I'm think about where I am in working towards living a simpler life. 

Until a year or so ago I would choose the vegetarian option on the menu if eating out and rarely bought meat in an effort to be healthier and be a better steward of the world's resources.  Beginning with reading these books, I have since come to a different understanding on the ethics of meat eating , the importance of animal protein for health, and the effects of unfermented soy on the body. 

I moved to Korea in 2003 and then China in 2005.  I came back in 2007 with the intention of heading back as quickly as possible, so I left most of my belongings there.  I had no intentions of staying in the States, but then I got married, moved to California and now we have a baby!  When we moved in to our apartment after we got married, we were able to furnish it with things that were given to us.  We are still intentional about almost everything we buy because we still hope to move back to Asia.  We are on a limited budget and live in a one bedroom apartment.  However, in the past year, we've bought a Vitamix, a juicer, Pickl-it jars (mostly with Christmas and birthday gift money!).  We use each of these on an almost daily basis so I don't question their value, but they still take up space and will be something else to move when the time comes. 

Many of the things that Mavry needs have been given to us and we have bought some things like a stroller and high chair on craigslist with gift money intended for her.  I'm thankful for our limited space that keeps us honest with the amount of stuff we bring in, but we are looking for a two bedroom place where we can live in close proximity with another couple that we know.  That's another dream of ours - to live in simple community with others.  Now that we've found friends who have the same dream, it's a matter of finding a place to do it.  We are beginning to think it might not be just a dream to be able to share things we need, share meals and share daily life.

In looking back at this blog, I remember another time when I was single, living with my grandmother and in close contact with people who were homeless.  Wonderful changes in my life have moved me to a different place (in more ways than just physically) and I am glad to have a chance to reflect.  We have limits now that keep us living a relatively simple life - if and when those limits are removed, will we still choose simplicity?

The High Price of Materialism

I posted this a while back on Facebook, but wanted to post it here too.

A few interesting points made in the video:

- As materialism goes up, care for the earth goes down.
- People focus more on material things when they feel insecure.  
- The more people are exposed to the media, the more materialistic they are.
- As intrinsic values go up, materialism goes down. 

Materialism is easy to succumb to all the time, especially when having a baby!  There are checklists everywhere that tell me all of the things I need to buy and all the clothes are so cute!  I think our decision to be surprised about the gender of our baby has helped me curb the urge to buy cute clothes, at least (and it has probably kept others from buying too many clothes for our baby too!)

The nest has an article that suggests we should budget $30,000 for a baby!  Whoa.  Fortunately, we have been given many things that friends nearby don't need anymore, and we've been able to get a few good quality things we wanted off of craigslist.  Through an online forum, I recently came across this article on the real cost of raising children and this one on the what newborns really need that are helpful in keeping perspective as well. 

Thinking about Homelessness

If you have a few minutes, take the time to read this article about empowering people who are homeless:

Giving Money to the Homeless Might Actually Work

(found here)


And watch this video, which almost made me cry during my lunchbreak.




(found here)

Not Built For Mediocrity

From this article that Colin's brother Jeremy shared:

It would be folly to suggest that anyone can literally do or become anything. But the new science tells us that it's equally foolish to think that mediocrity is built into most of us, or that any of us can know our true limits before we've applied enormous resources and invested vast amounts of time.

Our abilities are not set in genetic stone. They are soft and sculptable, far into adulthood. With humility, with hope, and with extraordinary determination, greatness is something to which any kid - of any age - can aspire.

David Shenk is the author of The Genius in All of Us.

Charles Bukowski: Bluebird

Bluebird

there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too tough for him, I say, stay in there, I'm not going to let anybody see you. there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I pour whiskey on him and inhale cigarette smoke and the whores and the bartenders and the grocery clerks never know that he's in there. there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too tough for him, I say, stay down, do you want to mess me up? you want to screw up the works? you want to blow my book sales in Europe? there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too clever, I only let him out at night sometimes when everybody's asleep. I say, I know that you're there, so don't be sad. then I put him back, but he's singing a little in there, I haven't quite let him die and we sleep together like that with our secret pact and it's nice enough to make a man weep, but I don't weep, do you? -Charles Bukowski I noticed this poem on the wall at an exhibit at the Huntington Library last weekend and thought it was kind of amazing.

A Better Holiday Idea: Good and Fair Clothing

There are holiday gift guides everywhere right now! So, I'm going to continue to bring up ways from near and far to bring better ideas into the holiday shopping frenzy.


Good and Fair Clothing Company was started by a friend in Austin. They use 100% organic cotton and are fair trade from the "farm to the factory." They're currently selling boxers, t-shirts, and women's underwear. You can also get custom tees made from them.

A great way to start a quest to buy more responsibly in terms of clothing.

Giving and the Holidays

I'm usually against starting holiday festivities early. When I saw the Christmas decorations going up in September at the mall, I though 'ick, consumerism.' But, if you came to our house for Colin's birthday party a week ago, you would have seen a little display of ornaments on an upside down tomato cage (our improvised tree), a vintage sled, presents wrapped in dictionary pages. Colin actually put it together when he cleaned house since I had all of those things on the living room floor.

Things have been a little different this year because I've been putting new items in my two etsy shops that are Christmas themed and making plans for this weekend's craft fair at church. So, holiday stuff has been on my mind.

I sent an e-mail to my family a few days ago asking if we wanted to stop giving gifts, or if we give them, to give something handmade, regifted, or give to a good cause. Colin asked about it last night and I told him "basically, we're not giving gifts." He started talking about the Biblical reasons for gift giving, that it brings joy, that it shows appreciation, etc. I kind of sighed, thinking that he was making things more complicated. Then I realized that I was taking the easy route by just saying no to gift giving. There are lots of great ways to enjoy the season without giving gifts, but giving gifts can be fun and thoughtful and great. Colin grew up in a family that doesn't celebrate Christmas, so he looks forward to giving and receiving.

All this has me thinking. I'm putting a lot of effort (well, it's my full-time job right now) into my etsy stores and selling things at these holiday fairs. So, I don't know what will be left in me to make more things and find thoughtful gifts for those who I would like to give something to. But, I also realize that I really enjoy making things for others and I enjoy giving. During the next few weeks, I'm going to post some ideas for thoughtful giving that puts less focus on consumerism and more focus on sharing the wealth. I'd love to hear from you and what you do, too!

keeping things in perspective

Just after I posted the last post, I read this post that was linked from another blog in my rss feed. The theme of housing and the abundance of what we are used to in this culture is on my mind. It's hard to keep the focus off myself no matter where I live and what my circumstances, but it's even harder for me recently. Living in the States is no small part of that, with all that we have here and all we have to compare ourselves to. So, I'm thankful to have reminders to know I'm blessed in order to be a blessing.

abundance and motivation

We have a pretty big apartment. Not big compared to most of the places our friends live, but plenty big for us. The other day, Colin said "when we have a baby, do you think we'll have to move out of this apartment?" He loves the outdoor space that we have. He spends a little bit of his morning out there every day. We eat out there sometimes, I have a bunch of potted plants out there that Colin keeps alive when I forget to water them, and we hope to still get a little garden in before it gets too late in the season.

Today, I saw this article with this picture of a seven square foot space a single working girl rents in Beijing. Unbelievable! It looks kinda cozy, but mostly sad with its one tiny window and no space for anything but a narrow bed. The saddest parts though would be no kitchen (I think they have a shared one in the hall though) and that they have to use the public bathrooms on the street. I have seen and smelled such bathrooms while walking the streets of China, and they are nasty.

I wonder if she has any closet space. One of my Chinese students once told me that he wore one set of clothes all week and then went home on the weekends to change. His mother would wash his clothes for him and he'd switch out clothes again the next weekend. Our Chinese students were sometimes baffled that their foreign teachers had so many clothes.

This girl who lives in the seven square foot pod has moved there from an apartment she shared with a roommate so that she can send more money home to her parents in the country. Would that even cross the mind of a recent college grad in America? Maybe it would for some. It makes me think about an update I got from a friend who's still teaching where I did in China. She says the freshman class this year has the most discipline problems she's ever seen and she's at a loss to know how to motivate them. That was the thing about teaching in China - I could count on most of my students to be super diligent. They made the most of their time in university. But the new students have a new reputation. They haven't known economic hardship and they don't seem to care about learning much. As Colin said when I relayed that story to him, "Maybe China won't take over the world after all if those are the students that are in university now."

Good Friday thoughts from a friend

My friend Suzanne posted this today. Here is a piece, but really you should read the whole thing.

There is an aspect about the passage of Jesus making breakfast for his disciples that might be like very close friends coming together after a long night out, hangovers and all, to share in the previous night’s antics and activities: confessing indiscretions and stupid things said or done, but walking away from it with stronger love for one another, and a whole lot more grace. Such a gathering would acknowledge humility and human frailty, but it would all be okay.

This Easter, then, I approach Sunday with an awareness that I can’t really say to my Christ, I love you so much! I say, perhaps, I love you with a human love. Or, I love you more than some things, but some other things I still love more.

Really, I look forward to breakfast: To food, real food, to the bread of God’s word, and to thankfulness for daily provision; For having a full net one minute, and an empty one the next. And that is about all that I can muster.

Still.

“Keep this proverb in mind: The eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. Therefore, withdraw your heart from the love of things visible and turn yourself to things invisible.”

an hour at the beach

Go past Bed, Bath, and Beyond, Target, Jack in the Box until you see the wide strip of sand, the beginning of infinity.
Be drawn over that sand like a magnet to the swell, the welcoming and approaching waves.
Surrender to the pull of the sea that simultaneously speaks and listens.
Skitter like the birds on their sticklegs along the water's edge.
Take to flight when the water threatens to anoint your feet.
See if you can fathom the bright warmth of the sun; the contrast of the ocean's breezy chill.
Squint at the sheer glass of a wave's wall as it passes; disappears in an instant.
Ask how it changes into approaching spray just like that.
Make peace with yourself. Your shortcomings, your lack of love, the tears you hate to release.
Know that if anywhere, this is the place to let go, to be held by the damp, dense sand, to let your imagination soar like a gull and dive into the chilly roughness of the water.
You've come with your sunscreen, your bag of belongings, but it is too much.
You need to simply be here, full within yourself, present with all you feel.
Then set your face towards that world to go back to.
Know you can go back not being finished, not being complete, but as one in the process of completing.

Lent

Today is Ash Wednesday and I am not prepared. I celebrated Fat Tuesday with a burger last night, but lent isn't something I've thought much about this year. I suppose it's because I'm not in a community that is observing it. I did see this blog yesterday though and want to go through it and consider the experiment.

employed or laid aside...

(The quotes in this post and the last are from an e-mail I get from Sojourners.)

This prayer is one I am desperately needing to pray now as I struggle with finding myself feeling worthless because I don't have a job. Having something to do is not really a problem. So much to read that I'm not reading, language to study that I'm not studying, prayers to pray, people to love, but I still want a job to tell me that I'm worth something. There are so many lessons in this that I have yet to learn. I am trying to be still, to know I'm worthy because I'm a lover of God. I am. It's just hard. So I'm praying this prayer.

I am no longer my own, but yours.
Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for you or laid aside for you, exalted for you or brought low for you.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things to your pleasure and disposal. And now, O glorious and blessed God, you are mine, and I am yours.
So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.
- Adapted from John Wesley's Covenant Prayer

church

Tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for [God] to show. Any God I ever felt in church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did too. They come to church to share God, not find God.
- Alice Walker, from her book The Color Purple

The times when I have enjoyed church, or to put in other words, felt like it really mattered that I went, were times when I felt God in me and felt him through the community I worshipped with. Not through the sermon or through the worship necessarily, but just in the being with other people who were there for the same reason. Our churches are often self-focused. We go to get, not to give, but when we go to church as givers and receivers, we have much to gain in community.

Selah, the Sea, and St. Anthony

(Something I wrote for the church newsletter in California after our womens' retreat.)

There's something about the beach. I don't get there very often, even though I now live much closer to a beach than I ever have before. The infinity of the sky, the ocean, and the sand is overwhelming. The expanse of the ocean ahead, in contrast with the tiny grains of sand at my feet, impossible to count. The push and pull of the waves, and the sound of waves drowning out my own voice. I sit there, sifting through the sand with my hand, watching the birds go after their catch, singing or shouting to God knowing He hears me above the roar. I love to enjoy the beach with others, but for me something unique happens when I'm there alone.

I felt that as I walked down to the beach early on the Sunday morning of Selah, our women's retreat. I heard a tiny groan escape my throat as I saw the shore and smiled , so thankful to feel a connection to the depth of God.

That morning at the beach was part of a weekend of reconnecting, allowing God to claim my soul as a dwelling place for Himself again. He spoke to me about how He is my shelter, my refuge, my source through any tumult I face. As I sat in solitude among the other women there, I remembered what it feels like to really trust Him, to know him as the one who provides for me.

One of the readings we were given on the retreat was an article on solitude by Henri Nouwen. Nouwen tells of St. Anthony, who spent years of solitude in the desert: “He had become so Christlike, so radiant with God's love, that his entire being was ministry.” As I read about St. Anthony, I was reminded that my entire being will be ministry only as I allow myself that time in solitude. In solitude, I leave behind the finite life to sit in the expanse of God, the one who truly knows me.

When Death Comes by Mary Oliver

From New and Selected Poems by Mary Oliver (Beacon Press, 25 Beacon St, Boston, MA 02108-2892, ISBN 0 870 6819 5).

When death comes like the hungry bear in autumn; when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse to buy me, and snaps the purse shut; when death comes like the measles-pox; when death comes like an iceberg between the shoulder blades, I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering: what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness? And therefore I look upon everything as a brotherhood and a sisterhood, and I look upon time as no more than an idea, and I consider eternity as another possibility, and I think of each life as a flower, as common as a field daisy, and as singular, and each name a comfortable music in the mouth tending as all music does, toward silence, and each body a lion of courage, and something precious to the earth. When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. When it is over, I don't want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real. I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

Holiday Shopping for Good

Last year about this time, I linked to the Advent Conspiracy.

Recently, I've come across some more links to share in the same spirit:

• You can buy boots for a kid in North Korea for only $5 here.
• You can check out the rating of stores you might shop at here to see if they are a company that actively prevents exploitation of workers.
• You can check out the social and environmental responsibility of companies and brands here.
• The Preemptive Love Coalition has unique shoes made in Iraq and t-shirts that help fund needed heart surgeries for kids in Iraq.
• Better World Books is where I buy my books now. They're a certified B corporation. Find more companies like them here.
  

Wendell Berry is my hero

Manifesto:
The Mad Farmer Liberation Front

by Wendell Berry

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion - put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front" from The Country of Marriage

copyright © 1973 by Wendell Berry

found here