Lent

Today is Ash Wednesday and I am not prepared. I celebrated Fat Tuesday with a burger last night, but lent isn't something I've thought much about this year. I suppose it's because I'm not in a community that is observing it. I did see this blog yesterday though and want to go through it and consider the experiment.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I've never been one to celebrate this day much, but this year I wrote notes and folded them middle school style, plus a few other fun things.

employed or laid aside...

(The quotes in this post and the last are from an e-mail I get from Sojourners.)

This prayer is one I am desperately needing to pray now as I struggle with finding myself feeling worthless because I don't have a job. Having something to do is not really a problem. So much to read that I'm not reading, language to study that I'm not studying, prayers to pray, people to love, but I still want a job to tell me that I'm worth something. There are so many lessons in this that I have yet to learn. I am trying to be still, to know I'm worthy because I'm a lover of God. I am. It's just hard. So I'm praying this prayer.

I am no longer my own, but yours.
Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for you or laid aside for you, exalted for you or brought low for you.
Let me be full, let me be empty.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things to your pleasure and disposal. And now, O glorious and blessed God, you are mine, and I am yours.
So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.
- Adapted from John Wesley's Covenant Prayer

church

Tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for [God] to show. Any God I ever felt in church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did too. They come to church to share God, not find God.
- Alice Walker, from her book The Color Purple

The times when I have enjoyed church, or to put in other words, felt like it really mattered that I went, were times when I felt God in me and felt him through the community I worshipped with. Not through the sermon or through the worship necessarily, but just in the being with other people who were there for the same reason. Our churches are often self-focused. We go to get, not to give, but when we go to church as givers and receivers, we have much to gain in community.

A few more wedding pictures

These pictures aren't in the order things happened, but I don't want to spend any more time trying to get them perfect. So, here are the last of the wedding highlights! Pictures, again, are from Amber Snow.

I'm not a dancer and didn't really want to have dancing at the reception, but to Colin it was sort of a non-negotiable, so I didn't put up too much of a fuss. We had the first dance together and then father/daughter and mother/son dances, which was nice. It was fun to see people like my aunt and uncle out on the dance floor.

I think my bridesmaids (sister and cousins) are absolutely gorgeous.

The handsome Thorne brothers.

Our families together.

And that's the last of the wedding pics! I have some more posted on my picasa site and we plan on posting all of them on Colin's photo site soon. Let me know if you want to be invited to see those.

The Ceremony

My Mom found someone local to do the flowers. I just sent her some pictures of what I liked. The bouquets, boutonnieres, and corsages were really lovely. Thanks, Mom, for taking care of that and adding some really beautiful flowers to the wedding!

My 2 year old nephew, the ring bearer, anticipating his time in the spotlight. Oh my. He is so cute!



Colin SURPRISED me by singing "I Want You to Be My Love" as I walked up the aisle. I couldn't believe it. (That's the song he also used to propose to me.) He added on a verse that he wrote, saying that he wanted me to be his wife. I married such a romantic!

Colin's dad blew the shofar for us at the beginning and end of the wedding.

Instead of the unity candle, we had a ribbon ceremony to show that everyone who came to the wedding was a part of the community, a part of our marriage. We had one long ribbon that everyone wrapped around their wrist and then passed on, so that everyone was connected. Once everyone was connected, scissors were passed and we asked people to wear the ribbon as a reminder of their participation in the wedding. One of my friends was even still wearing it last week. I love that.


A group shot of everyone who came to the wedding! Yay!

The good looking members of the wedding party.

The groomsmen who all came from out of state to celebrate with us.

(These pictures are from Amber Snow Photography.)

More of the Wedding Day

The pictures in this post are from our photographer, Amber Snow.



Ready for the wedding to begin!


My handsome husband.

We had a table with pictures from our parents and grandparents weddings.

My Mom made our rings! I love this photo Amber took of them.

Our ceremony spot at a point overlooking the lake.

The Wedding Day

A week or so before the wedding, I started waking up with knots in my stomach, which was weird for me because I'm usually a very low stress person. From Wednesday before the wedding on, though, I would wake up with a list of things to do (or at least worry about) but the knot was gone.

I got great sleep the night before the wedding, and woke up feeling pretty normal, except for the knowledge that I was about to make a life changing commitment in a few hours. I made a list of things I was worried about and gave it to my sister. She graciously took it and worked on making them happen. From that point on, I let go of most things.

I do remember seeing Colin (since we were in such close quarters, we decided it would be okay to see each other until we got into our wedding clothes) at some point and telling him something like "It doesn't look good yet! I really want it to look good!" He then told me, "Umm, I think you need to be whisked away somewhere so you won't worry about this. We're making it happen."

I realized there wasn't much left I could do, so I went to my cousin Audra's cabin, where she had stayed up half the night icing the gorgeous and YUMMY wedding cake she made as a gift to us. She also volunteered to do my makeup and hair. I gladly took her up on those offers, since she is much more skilled in those areas than I am. She did a fabulous job and took a lot of stress off me.
It rained from Thursday before the wedding until sometime early Saturday. We heard that in Finland, this is considered good luck - like a cleansing. I was okay with it raining, because I love rain and we had a tent. The problem with the tent though was that it was on a slope, so though it was mostly dry at the lower end, the higher end had all the runoff from the uncovered higher ground. So, it turned into a bit of a muddy mess underneath.

Saturday morning, the sun came out and it looked like it was going to be a beautiful day, so we decided at the last minute to move the ceremony outside of the tent to enjoy the natural light and have the tent already set up for the reception, instead of having to move in tables later. It did turn windy and overcast for the wedding, which made it a bit chilly (I somehow didn't feel cold at all, but other people had blankets on their laps!), but it was beautiful!

I'll post a few pictures from our photographer soon!

The Night Before the Big Day

From Friday around lunchtime, it seemed like everything was in fast forward. Colin had gone into town for last minute things until right before the rehearsal. Almost everyone arrived, it seemed like, right at rehearsal time or after. We got the lights and sound in the tent hooked up as the rehearsal was underway, and somebody set up chairs as we got started. It was a relief to get the rehearsal done and go inside where it was warm.

We had a welcome dinner in the cabin that my family was sharing with Colin's family. One of the best parts of the weekend was getting to see my family and Colin's family, along with our friends, interact. When we first found this place, that's what Colin got excited about. We looked for a place where everybody who wanted to could stay on site so that it would feel a little bit like a double family reunion. That's exactly what ended up happening, and that's one of the reasons why it was a wonderful weekend.


After dinner, my sister and cousins and I found a bedroom to hide in for a little while, but Colin came to find us because his dad had declared there was going to be a "hootenanny." His family used to have a little family band when they lived in Alaska. They brought it back to entertain the crowd.


The crowd was certainly entertained, but nobody had as much fun as the Thorne family band.


Colin ended the night with his friends at their cabin. I ended the night with my girlfriends in the hot tub and sauna behind our cabin. I'm so glad they were there!