Every time I get to grade a writing assignment, I laugh. On our last test, we had a writing prompt that asked the students to write about their pet peeve. Here are a few of the funny ones.
I really can't stand smoking. It's so terrible when someone smokes in front of me. The smog makes me breath hard. I don't understand why the people are smoking. Is it so healthful?
I can't stand when someone touch my head. I think that head is most important at body. So if someone touched my head, I'd be very angry.
(This is actually a cultural thing...if someone touches your head, it is degrading, because it's only acceptable to touch the heads of kids.)
I can't stand when my roommate doesn't wash his socks. It is very dirty and awful. I always talk to him wash his socks, but he never wash socks. I can't wash his socks for him everyday. I want to change room.
On the first test, we had a fill in the blank section. The words shrine and hug were among the words in the box as choices. So, this is how one person completed the blank:
I am feeling so lonely. I really need a shrine from someone.
On one of our homework assignments, there was a picture of an apartment with a dog in it. The assignment was to make a list of requests that you might ask your friend to take care of for you while you went on vacation. So, one person wrote this:
Could you please eat my dog while I'm away?
In a culture where dog soup is a delicacy, we thought this was an interesting request. I actually couldn't figure out what the student was trying to say, because was trying to figure out how "Could you please take care of my dog?" could be confused with "Could you please eat my dog?", but my co-teacher clarified it for me. He meant to say "Could you please FEED my dog while I'm away?" That's still a horrible mistake, but at least understandable.